I must have missed the news on Tuesday (oh, which was only yesterday – I don’t feel so bad now) about John Ashcroft resigning as Attorney General. Ashcroft was, of course, the right-wing nutter who introduced the US Patriot Act (for more on the USPA see Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9-11), but more importantly, he wrote himself a theme tune for the war in Iraq (for some reason, Americans never call it the war on Iraq – anyone else noticed that?). He sang the song, called ‘Let the Eagle Soar’, in front of a press conference – and the video is available online!

Anyway, that’s it. Election and election related stuff finished with. Hasta la vista. Finito.

Except to say, if you want a comprehensive list of everything funny to do with the election, head over to About.com which has a huge section devoted to it. Top stuff.

I promise that this is absoutely the last time that I will post anything about the US Election. The one that Bush won. Oh God… we’re all doomed! Anyway – that’s it for another 4 years. If you want to catch up on all of my election related blogging, find and click the link in the sidebar on the right (or, in fact, here).

And I leave you with the current “Onion in History” front page. I honestly laughed out loud at this – make sure that you read the little bits at the side as well!

I’m stunned, and at a total loss for words this morning, so I’m going to borrow some words from Oliver Willis: “The amazing thing to me about this race was that Bush could be as divisive as he wanted to be, but it never penalized him. The most important things in the world were responded to with infantile answers or complete ignorance. Where he stood was clear. Simplicity wins.” Apparently, my country holds a fundamentally different set of values than I thought we did, and that scares the shit out of me. I still believe that Bush is bad for America, and though I’m virtually certain that the next four years will be an absolute disaster. Not just because we have gotten four more years of the Bush agenda, but because this election has been an enthusiastic endorsement of that agenda. I hoped I would wake up this morning to the good news that our long national nightmare was over. It’s not over. It’s just beginning.

Last week Wil wrote a short article for Salon, explaining why he was voting for Kerry, and what he would do if Bush were re-elected:

This election is a referendum on the policies and leadership of President Bush. On November 2nd, we will take a simple test: will Americans succumb to terror? Or will we stand up and take our country back? Our hopefully soon to be ex-president once struggled to say, “fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.” Of course, that phrase actually goes: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I hope that, on election day, the American people will emphatically say, “Shame on you, Mr. Bush. Shame on you for four years of incompetent, dishonest, arrogant leadership. You may have fooled us once, but you won’t get a chance to fool us again.” For four years, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney have lied to the American people about everything from the cost of Medicare “reform” to their ever-changing justifications for invading Iraq. Throughout this campaign, they have tried to terrorize us into giving them four more years to mislead the country and further enrage the world. A Bush victory would mean much, much more than just the defeat of John Kerry. It would endanger the values that the vast majority of Americans — the majority of Americans who voted for Al Gore or Ralph Nader in 2000 — hold dear. It would be a victory for terror. So if George W. Bush wins, I will sit down, and I will cry. I will cry for my children, who will most certainly face a military draft, and I will cry for my country, because I believe that America can, and must, do better than George W. Bush. Now, watch this drive.

I think a good percentage of America will sit down and cry with you, Wil.

How did he ever get elected in the first place? And what does it say about Americans that they picked him AGAIN?

Now, I’m sure there is something about it somewhere, but what happens if the Ohio votes that still have to be counted all turn out to be in favour of Kerry? It’s not likely, but it is possible… so the US will have a president who didn’t actually win the election. (Kinda like last time, then)… and there will be 250,000 disenfranchised voters. In fact, if they just stop counting now, those 250,000 voters will be disenfranchised. What a stupid system, to elect a president based on the best guess of how the election looks like it’s going.

That said, at least Kerry conceded. You just know that if it had gone the other way, the Republicans and Bush would have launched a massive legal appeal.

I hate to say it, but I would really not like to live in any of the big American cities at the moment. I just get a really bad feeling that there could be some sort of strike-back from our Middle Eastern friends…

(from the still fantastic Rum and Monkey)

Observers from around the world report that they were inspired and moved by America’s most recent attempt to hold a public election in accordance with the standards of a democratic republic. “After all of the recriminations, infighting, and general madness before the election, the people of this fractured nation still found the courage to show up at the polls,” said Anas Salman, an Afghan U.N. official who was in New York during the American electoral experiment. “More than half of America’s citizens—a large portion of them women—made a valiant attempt to choose their own leader, even though there was no guarantee their votes would be counted. It was truly inspirational.” In the weeks leading up to the election, both of America’s political parties alleged fraud in voter registration. Additionally, experts debated the reliability of electronic voting machines, which experienced problems in trial runs and leave no paper trail. Election officials also bemoaned many states’ use of outdated punchcard machines. Considering such disputes, Salman said he was “touched and gladdened” that voter turnout for the U.S. election nearly approached voter-turnout rates for Afghanistan’s first popular elections in October, when 69 percent of citizens cast ballots. “True, voter turnout in many parts of the world tops 90 percent,” Salman said. “But it’s understandable that the rate is lower in countries such as Afghanistan, where the government has raised fears of possible terrorist attacks at the polls. Our people showed great courage.” The last American presidential election, held in 2000, was also rife with problems. Myriad scandals arose concerning alleged fraud and ballot tampering. Although the Democratic candidate won the popular vote by a margin of half a million votes, the Republican candidate won the presidency with a strenuously disputed 537-vote lead in Florida, a state governed by his brother.

The candidates are currently neck-and-neck: Bush has 249 college votes (51% of the popular vote), while Kerry has 48%. Just ignore Nader with his 1%, until tomorrow when the Democrats blame him for ‘stealing’ their votes.

Anyway, a map and table of results so far from CNN:

(results as of 8:17AM GMT / 3:17AM EST)

So far, it seems the Democrats are up a state from last time. In 2000 they won New Mexico, Iowa and Wisconsin, three of those still to announce. This year, they also won New Hampshire, which was Republican last time.

It’s just gone from 39-3 to Bush to 77-66 to Kerry. (We are still quite early in the evening).

It’s all very exciting.

Simon Schama – yes him – says that this is “the rebirth of popular democracy in the greatest republic on earth”.

I’m going to bed now. More in the morning – watch this space!

• BBC News: Arguably the best of the best. I’ve already explained that they’ve got their top correspondants covering the election, and they’ve devoted a lot of space on the BBC News site to it. Favourite feature: A handy animated map showing how states are voting and the results the candidates need.

• CNN.com: Everyone knows (and trusts) CNN – their coverage of the election really is superb, with many of the same features as the Beeb. Favourite feature: huge selection of statistics, updated in real(ish)-time.

• Fox News: For a laugh. Hell, they decided the outcome of the election in 2000, so maybe they’re not such a joke. Well, yes they are. Favourite feature: the currently non-existant exit polls… Oh, and the tagline “Fair and Balanced”

- Washington DC – Matt Frei – the BBC’s Washington Correspondant (TV) - Washington DC – Justin Webb – the BBC’s Washington Correspondant (Radio) - Washington DC – John Simpson – the liberator of Kabul, “I’ve been covering US elections since 1964.” - Washington DC – Dermot Murnaghan – him off the Breakfast show - Washington DC (there’s a lot of ‘em there) – Jon Sopel – ex-European Correspondant, now a presenter of the 6 o’clock news. - Boston – Gavin Hewitt – Special Correspondant, last seen somewhere far-flung - Boston – Brian Hanrahan – has reported on everything from the Falklands to Iraq - Crawford, Texas (chez W) – Stephen Evans – American Business Correspondant, based in New York (9-11 World Trade Center survivor) - Miami – Daniela Relph – I’m pretty sure she’s usually Middle Eastern…

Only names I can think of as missing are Ben Brown – Gavin Hewitt’s doppelganger who reported on (in order) Afghanistan, World Cup 2002, Iraq, Euro 2004 – and Stephen Sackur, ex-Washington Correspondant who anchored the 2000 election broadcast.

Jon Snow is on roving assignment over there for Channel 4, and no doubt ITV has sent over its top people.

Hopefully they’ll turn up at some point during the evening. Just one question, though – is all news for the rest of the evening officialy suspended? There’s no one to report on anything else…

Oh, and David Dimbleby’s there, doing something election related.

Update: I missed out Brian Barron, Laura Trevelyan and Bridget Kendell.