I’ve done my time in Egypt (studying Arabic at the University of Alexandria), and for the last few months I’ve been trying to organise a placement/job in Québec, to improve my French. Just over a month ago, I was offered a job by Enzyme Testing Labs, proofreading computer games (that is, checking that the English used in the game is correct). I eagerly accepted the job and applied for my work permit, which is required to work in Canada.

Five weeks on, I’m due to start in Montreal on Monday. I was set to fly today. But I don’t have a work permit yet. The Canadian High Commission in London (bonus points to anyone who can find what they’re looking for on that website) has had my application, along with C$150, since 20 April. They suggest that most permits are issued within about three weeks, but that you can ask for an update on its progress after ten days. This I have done, using the email form on their website twice, and faxing them (who uses fax anymore?). No response. They have no direct email address, no telephone number, and don’t accept visitors in person.

So, I’m still sitting at home, frustrated, unable to travel to Canada to start this job until the High Commission sends me my work permit. When will that be? Who knows?

Tomorrow, probably.

An Egyptian Tomorrow, that is.

Which means sometime before Christmas.

Insh’allah.

Sorry, did I say Christmas? I meant Easter.

Easter 2009.

bukra, f’il mishmish, as these Arab chappies say. Tomorrow, in the apricot season.

Blah Blah Blah Blah

“On no, not revision!”

Revision sending you to sleep? Try Bitesize from the BBC.

Any chance of the Beeb introducing first-year honours degree revision guides for Arabic?

Please, pretty please.

If you look at what I wrote about the US Presidential Election six months ago, and then at how much I’ve written about this one…

There’s something about British politics at the moment (or ever, for that matter) that seems boring. I can understand why young people might feel no incentive to vote. I’m not one of them… but I appreciate the fact that because of the way I voted where I voted, my vote will have absolutely no effect on the outcome of the election, either locally or nationally. It’s a bizzare system, first-past-the-post, in that it immediately disenfranchises half the electorate.

It also seems particularly distant to me at the moment. As if the result somehow won’t affect me. I’m not sure why.

Anyway, as a heads-up… the results, as predicted by the Castle JCR Election-o-meter (as of 00:01, 5 May 2005):

4th, 10 votes (7.5%), Labour
3rd, 32 votes (23.9%), Conservatives
1st=, 46 votes (34.3%), Lib Dems
1st=, 46 votes (34.3%), John the Maid

Not too sure how representative those votes are, though…

Today was a perfect example of British weather.

I had four classes today, with a gap between each, so I could go back to my room and do some work.

Whenever I was about to leave my room to go down to Elvet Riverside, it was nice and sunny.

But five minutes before the end of each lecture/seminar/tutorial (I had all three today), the heavens would open and it would start to pour with rain.

Typical.

Elvet Riverside – the epitome of smart, stylish urban architecture in the North East – was obviously designed and built during a lengthy drought… it leaks. Everywhere. There is a bridge going between the two halves of the building – today, it also had waterfalls inside each end of the bridge…

It’s hot.

It’s a Bank Holiday.

So why do we have to go to lectures today?

Durham is full of tourists in shorts and t-shirts eating ice creams, and we have to sit in a room in Elvet Riverside revising Arabic verb forms, watching people go past in boats, on what must be the hottest day of the year so far here.

The Castle has tours on every hour – and we’re “busy” revising.

Hmmph. It’s just not fair.

At uni, where I’m supposed to be working hard, I managed to blog pretty much every day.

During the Easter holidays, when I’m supposed to be relaxing and not doing (quite as much) work, I’ve blogged very infrequently.

Why? Well… I dunno. I really haven’t been doing lots of anything. OK, some revising, an essay half-written, two websites created… but other than that, I should have loads of time on my hands.

Anyway, I have a few projects to do before going back to uni (fixing a few computers, more revising, the small matter of that essay, Alton Towers some time), but that shouldn’t take up too much time.

In the meantime, I have been posting to my linkdump (it’s easier than proper blogging – I don’t have to write much!)- and I’ve almost found a way to plug it into this page in a suitable manner.

Basically, the message was made up of a couple of HTML tables to split up the key words – which means that many spam filters can’t read them properly.

But the interesting bit was that at the bottom of the email, in very small print, was the following:

I… I can’t read, sir. I… I didn’t know. But is he mad, to leave his post at such a time? Blood was amaz Who is there? The voice was Miss Bishop’s, a little tremulous, Jeremy looked at the burly planter out of sullen, almost defiant Better wait, Hayton, in case his lordship should turn violent, couch. had summed him up, convicted him and sentenced him in that one But James adhered to it. It was – apart from the indirect profit Blood would have intervened at that, but Lord Julian forestalled for my safety. An English ship! he cried. I’ve been at my work in the town, he answered. Mrs. Patch has figures to make sure that all was correct to the last peso. A was harsh as a file. He writhed as he spoke, and for an instant line of Horace – a poet for whose work he had early conceived an

Basically, a garbled version of Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini (I found after Googling a few of the terms). Anyone know why the spam contained that? I have absolutely no clue. Must be a reason, though…

Anyway, I’m told that a certain Canadian chap didn’t do too well today (started in 4th, finished in 13th).

Formula 1 just isn’t the same since Murray Walker stopped commentating. So for a bit of nostalgia, I thought I would reproduce some classic Walker-isms…

1. “There’s nothing wrong with the car except it’s on fire”

1. “With half the race gone there is still half the race to go”

2. “I imagine the conditions in those cars are totally unimaginable”

3. “Tambay’s hopes, which were previously nil, are now absolutely zero”

4. “Either that car is stationary or it’s on the move”

5. “There’s no doubt in my mind that if the race had lasted for 46 laps instead of 45 it would have been McLaren first and second but it didn’t so it wasnt”

6. “You can’t see the digital clock on your monitors because there isn’t one”

7. “It’s raining and the tracks wet”

8. “We’re on the 73rd lap and the next one will be the 74th”

9. “This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines and not just up, but down as well”

10. Murray: “And there are flames coming out of the back of Prost’s car as it enters the Swimming Pool”
    Co-Commentator: “Well, that should put them out then!” JJ’ll get the joke – the Swimming Pool is a corner on the Monaco GP track

11. “The gap between the 2 cars is 0.9 seconds – that’s less than a second!”

12. “He’s in front of everyone in this race except the two in front of him”

13. “Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one”

14. “He’s obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I cant see it”

15. “Do my eyes deceive me or is Senna’s car sounding a bit rough?”

16. “I cant imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem”

17. “What a fabulous race! Barry Sheene’s riding his Suzuki as though he’s married to it”

18. “Only ten of the drivers who strated this race are left. I make no apologies for thier absence, I’m sorry they’re not here.”

19. “Prost can see Mansell in his earphones”

20. “I’ve just stopped my start watch”

21. “And we’ve had five races this year so far- Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco”

22. “And the first 5 places are filled by 5 different cars!”

23. “As you look at the first 4 the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth”

24. “Here’s Giacomelli, driving like the veteran he is not”

25. “The battle is well and truly on if it wasn’t on before, and it certainly was”

26. “Two laps to go and the action will begin. Unless this is the action, which it is”

27. “And its MANSELL, MANSELL, MANSELL, NIGEL MANSELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (it wasn’t Nigel Mansell at all – it was his team mate)

28. “Piet Dam wins as he looks through a completely clear wind-screen which is, of course, the advantage of being in front” ( as he said that, the guy drove straight into a grass bank… and crashed out)

29. “Here comes the gallant little frenchman Alain Prost, almost home for his 6th Grand Prix win – nothing can stop him now!” ( As Murray said that, Prost hit a wet patch, spun into the barrier, lost a wheel and retired )

30. “It’s a sad ending, albeit a happy one, here at Montreal for today’s Grand Prix”

31. “The young Ralf Schumacher has been upstaged by the teenager Jenson Button who is 20″

32. “Andrea de Cesaris, the man who has won more Grand Prix than anyone else without actually winning one”

33. “GO! GO! GO!”

34. “SPIN! SPIN! SPIN!”

35. “FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!”

36. “The atmosphere is so tense you could cut it with a cricket stump”

37. “There’s only a second between them. ONE. That’s how long a second is!”

38. “And now excuse me while I interrupt myself!”

39. “And I’ve got to stop now, because I’ve got a lump in my throat” (when Damon Hill won the World Championship in 1996)