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August, 2011

  1. Public Service Announcement: Chocolate

    August 24, 2011 by dafyd

    Mars Believe

    Tangentially related to my last post, I wanted to share a somewhat amusing, somewhat annoying quirk of the American chocolate market.

    You know a Mars Bar, right? One a day helps you work, rest and play? There is no such thing in America. Nope, in the USA, a Mars Bar is called a Milky Way.

    This causes me immense amounts of confusion. Englishers, I’m sure you’ll understand why. For my American friends, I should explain that there is a chocolate bar (“candy bar”) marketed in the UK as a “Milky Way”. It is not, though, what you know as a Milky Way; it’s what Mars USA calls a 3 Musketeers bar. There is no 3 Musketeers bar in Britain.

    So, to recap, in the hope that I can help others from falling into the same trap:

    • UK Mars Bar = US Milky Way
    • UK Milky Way = US 3 Musketeers

    Now try standing in front of those two bars in an American store and try to pick the one containing caramel. Mind = blown.

    Photo by Flickr user ukslim (by-nc-sa)

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  2. Dear Giant Eagle

    August 24, 2011 by dafyd

    A letter, recently dispatched to our local supermarket after it had the temerity to dangle Proper British Chocolate in front of me, only to snatch it away a short time later.

    Giant Eagle Market District
    100 Settlers Ridge Center Dr,
    Pittsburgh, PA 15205

    Wednesday, 24 August 2011

    Dear Giant Eagle chaps,

    As a Brit who has recently moved to the Pittsburgh area, I want to thank you for your Market District store at Settlers Ridge. You have no idea how much I have appreciated finding an impressive range of home comforts on your shelves: Weetabix cereal, Ready Brek porridge, Robinsons Lemon Barley Water, Yorkie bars, the largest range of Sam Smith’s beers in Western PA… all products that have, from time-to-time, helped to relieve any tinge of homesickness.

    Imagine my horror, therefore, when I recently visited the store to obtain a few essentials and discovered that the British section had been brutally mutilated, halved in size. Where once were two full shelf racks bustling with the finest spotted dicks and Marmite, there is now but one. Your array of Cadbury’s chocolate bars – vital, as I’m sure you’re aware, to remove any lingering taste of Hershey’s “chocolate” – has gone! No more Maltesers or Kit Kat Chunkies! Why? Are there too few expats and Anglophiles in Allegheny Country to justify such an extravagance? Where should I now sate my olde worlde sweet tooth? And to add insult to injury, the former British shelves are now filled with products from Germany. Curry Ketchup? Dried Spaetzle? Pfah.

    As I say, I’m a great admirer of your store, and will certainly continue to patronise it. That said, though, I would be eternally grateful if you were to reconsider your downsizing of the British foods display. I’m sure I can make it worth your while.

    Yours sincerely,
    Dafyd Jones

    PS: No matter how you may have been informed, Maille “Old Style” Moutarde de Dijon and “extra fine” Cornichons do not belong in the (already emasculated) British section. The Hundred Years War was fought over less.

    Also, Jaffa Cakes.

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