Auntie

Boris Johnson has been slagging off the BBC.

Is this Britain, my friends, or is this some Central American dictatorship, circa 1970? I can think of only one reason for having a television in Oxfordshire, and that is so that I can refuse to pay Goodbody his confounded £126, and thereby show the BBC what I think of the licence fee. We imagine we are living in an advanced free market economy. Yet here is Goodbody, an emanation of the state, threatening me with surveillance and fines, so that I can continue to fund 10,000 state-sector journalists; an idea that seems increasingly peculiar and anomalous in 2005, but which is made more offensive to me by the BBC’s continuing habit of ever so subtly sneering at my party (the Conservatives) and anyone who votes for it.

Scaryduck, himself an employee of said corporation, took it upon himself to respond. Whenever he is asked to justify the BBC, he gives this answer:

• BBC1
• BBC2
• BBC3
• BBC4
• News 24
• BBC Parliament
• CBBC
• CBeebies
• Radio 1
• Radio 2
• Radio 3
• Radio 4 (in two variants)
• Radio Five Live
• 6Music
• Radio 7
• 1Xtra
• Asian Network
• Regional TV studios providing news and culturally distinct programming
• Regional radio stations including national channels for Wales, NI and Scotland, with further stations in Welsh and Gaelic
• bbc.co.uk, the world’s most comprehensive news, entertainment and educational website (and the 12th most visited site in the world)

And programming as diverse as

• Doctor Who
• Little Britain
• Question Time
• The League of Gentlemen
• EastEnders
• Strictly Come Dancing
• Jerry Springer: The Opera
• Songs of Praise
• Spooks
• The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
• Life on Earth
• Blue Peter
• Panorama
• I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue

(I’ve slightly altered both lists from Scary’s originals.)

Seriously, though, I think that the BBC is a unique organisation (unique in a good way), in that the licence fee should free the Beeb from the commercial constraints of the other channels, enabling it to show proper television, as opposed to just what the lowest common denominator wants to watch. But therein lies the problem – if they show quality TV that doesn’t appeal to enough people, they are accused of being elitist, and thus unworthy of my £126.50 a year. But if they show Strictly Come Dancing every Saturday, they are, naturally, “dumbing down” to the level of ITV, and should therefore be subject to the same constraints as them.

And as for bias – well, we know how much the Labour government has fallen out with the BBC (Hutton, Campbell’s email about Paxman), while Boris assert that the Corporation (or, more specifically, certain “star” personalities – Naughtie, Humphries, Marr) is anti-Tory. It seems it is really stuck between a rock and a hard place.

One of Scary’s commentors raises this very good point:

Cost of annual BBC TV licence = £126.50

Cost of buying the Daily/Sunday Telegraph every day for a year = £270

I know which I’d rather fork out for.

And the real reason why we must never, ever change the way the BBC is funded? I direct you here.

And to prove that the BBC is a “good thing”? Check out this gem currently available in their Radio Player.

For classic BBC moments – including disturbingly detailed minute-bu-minute coverage of the recent powercuts that have been plaguing Television Centre – check out the excellent TV & Radio Bits. For everything else televisual, check out the encyclopaedic TV Ark. Aah, Noel’s House Party. Happy times.