(Steve Bell, from the Channel 4 Election microsite)
April, 2005
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Election fun
April 28, 2005 by dafyd
Category 1 | Tags: rave | Comments Off
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Do not stand on my grave and weep
April 23, 2005 by dafyd
My grandmother died on Friday.She was coming back from doing the shopping when she fell down the stairs.
A fortnight ago, when we went over to Paris to visit her, she wouldn’t go out of the house, because she had fallen over in the street in the past and was worried that she would be unable to get up again.
Anyone who knew her would have told you how fiercely independent she always was, and this change in her really startled me. I’d seen her health get slowly worse over the last few years, but I was really shocked by quite how housebound she had become.
We took her out walking a couple of times – and she didn’t fall over. Maybe we gave her some extra confidence… I don’t know.
Clearly, though, on Friday morning she had gone out shopping, on her own. She didn’t fall in the street, the thing of which she was afraid.
She didn’t want to have her condition keep getting worse.
She had lived a truly incredible life – living in France, Belgium and the UK during the Second World War, and moving back to Paris in 1948 to work for the newly created UNESCO – where she spent the rest of her working life.
She was integral in getting ATD Fourth World recognised as a Non-Governmental Organisation by UNESCO – and she remained a staunch supporter of the organisation right until the end. One of the earliest memories I have of her house in Sceaux is of the posters for ATD Fourth World on the walls of her garage.
She was a remarkable woman – my only regret is that I never really got to know her as well as I should have. She was my grandma (“Mummy Mummy”) – someone who gave me presents at Christmas and had a garden particularly suited for hunting Easter eggs.
I will miss her.
IMMORTALITY
by AnonymousDo not stand on my grave and weep…
I am not there. I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starshine at night.Do not stand at my grave and cry…
I am not there. I did not die.Adella Kay: 1919 – 2005
Category 1 | Tags: Thoughts | 2 Comments
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PsychicShopping.com
April 20, 2005 by dafyd
On Monday afternoon, about 3 o’clock, I ordered something from Amazon.co.uk. It arrived on Tuesday morning. With their free SuperSaver shipping.
The way I reckon it, it can only have got here so quickly if they sent it before I ordered it.
Are they using some sort of super-advanced customer profiling, so they can predoct what we want to order before we actually do? Even if it’s something completely random that you’d never guess I’d order in a million years?
Huh?
On the other hand, the two DVDs I ordered from Amazon.fr a fortnight ago still haven’t arrived – despite being dispatched 10 days ago. Hmmph.
Maybe they’re only slowly rolling out this customer guessing software across their international sites…
Category 1 | Tags: hmm | 1 Comment
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Blogging
April 19, 2005 by dafyd
Blogging [...] is the twenty-first century equivalent of hanging around railway stations, writing pithy but erudite descriptions of the passing trains.
So?
I can think of only one person who does both…
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Blogging (at the iTunes Music Store)
Category 1 | Tags: rave | 1 Comment
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Tom Hecht, j’accuse
April 17, 2005 by dafyd
Gah. Annoying German pop. Worse even than Die Prinzen. And someone has pointed me in the direction of a particularly annoying example…A small Egyptian crocodile seems to be very popular in Germany at the moment…
Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil.
Komm aus Ägypten, das liegt direkt am Nil.
Zuerst lag ich in einem Ei,
dann schni-, schna-, schnappte ich mich freiSchni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi SchnappSchnappi is a young crocodile from the Nile whose single has reached number one in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Belgium, the Netherlands and Norway.
Remember the Smurfs or Mr Blobby? Well, Schnappi beats the lot of them. Just listen to his song and tell me that it isn’t a ridiculously catchy song…!
The really weird thing – and I think this is typically German – is that there are loads of remixes of the song. Just two that I found (and there are plenty more): the “Gigi D Agostino Party Edit” and the “Rammstein Remix“…
Category 1 | Tags: rave | 10 Comments
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It’s a veritable smorgasbord. Sun. Rain. Thunder. Hail. Snow. Cold. Wind. Not worth going to work really.
April 16, 2005 by dafyd
This post is coming soon, yo. Soon, meaning “when I am not falling asleep on the keyboard.” It’s here now.
Last week, Newsnight decided to replace its nightly market reports with a weather bulletin. Not a hugely important change, you might think. Well, it appears that the viewers of Newsnight think otherwise.
In a text message poll, viewers voted resoundingly for “the ten seconds of ineffable tedium that is The Markets.”
If you watch Jeremy Paxman’s weather reports, I think you’ll agree that he isn’t particularly fond of this new part of his job. After all, a weather summary consisting of
Eastern parts will mainly avoid the rain except for those that don’t, and there’ll be bright or sunny intervals. Western areas will be cloudy with rain, except in those areas that don’t have rain. Temperatures will be near normal.
isn’t necessarily that helpful…
To be fair, he did warn that his forecast would be “shorn of the usual folksy nonsense about clouds bubbling up and advice about wearing wooly socks”. That it certainly is.
The second forecast easily topped the first:
Take an umbrella with you tomorrow.
Anyway, watch his weather forecasts (he only does three – Gavin Esler is rubbish on the last two) – and then ask yourself whether you would rather watch The Markets or The Weather.
As Mr P himself says,
… a weather summary seemed such an obvious thing with which to replace [The Markets]. Of course, anyone who has a pension or a mortgage is affected by the way the markets work. But on a day-to-day basis there’s damn all we can do about them. But we all need to know whether to take an umbrella or whether there’s a danger of being exposed to Boris Johnson’s legs.
Category 1 | Tags: rave | 2 Comments
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Job Application
April 14, 2005 by dafyd
Hah – this is soooo funny… Jeremy has posted this actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food “restaurant” in Florida:
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re >better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: AriesApparently, they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
Also coming soon to a blog near you:
Category 1 | Tags: rave | 1 Comment
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Mini brass plate
April 13, 2005 by dafyd
David doesn’t like the adverts for the McDonald’s 99p pound saver menu thingy.
I think they’re great. Buy a Cheeseburger for a pound and get a free mini brass plate. In the shape of a penny. Fantastic.
Or buy something else for £1 (I can’t think of anything else at the moment) and get a free token to use in a wishing well of your choice. Who knows – make the right wish in the aforementioned well and you could win a holiday home. Or Schloss Neuschwanstein. (That’s the bit David really doesn’t like).
But the best bit – and this is what I really like about the adverts on the tellybox – is the voiceover chappy. He has a really bizarre accent – sometimes German, sometimes Welsh. Weird.
Watch it.
Category 1 | Tags: rave | 1 Comment
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Ch-ch-changes – and Pope betting
April 12, 2005 by dafyd
W00t. I’ve finally found a nice way to incorporate the linkdump posts (“clicky links”) into the main blog. I reckon it looks OK, but I will keep working on it – it still doesn’t look quite how I want it, and no doubt someone will complain that it’s too small or too blue or too something.
Anyway. That’s that.
Feel like placing a bet on who the new Pope will be? BBC News is running a story about Paddy Power‘s PopeBetting.com site… I’m not too sure I approve of the concept, but the site itself has some interesting history and trivia and brief biographies of the “favourites”. They’re also taking bets on what his papal name will be – at the moment Benedict seems to be favourite at 3-1.
Category 1 | Tags: rave | Comments Off
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Why am I so busy? (The Return)
April 11, 2005 by dafyd
OK – this is a cop-out, but I’m just posting a (suitably edited) post from Christmas…
At uni, where I’m supposed to be working hard, I managed to blog pretty much every day.
During the Easter holidays, when I’m supposed to be relaxing and not doing (quite as much) work, I’ve blogged very infrequently.
Why? Well… I dunno. I really haven’t been doing lots of anything. OK, some revising, an essay half-written, two websites created… but other than that, I should have loads of time on my hands.
Anyway, I have a few projects to do before going back to uni (fixing a few computers, more revising, the small matter of that essay, Alton Towers some time), but that shouldn’t take up too much time.
In the meantime, I have been posting to my linkdump (it’s easier than proper blogging – I don’t have to write much!)- and I’ve almost found a way to plug it into this page in a suitable manner.
Category 1 | Tags: rant | 2 Comments